he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
