after a month anything with tits is on the radar
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
