I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
