dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
