You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
