Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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