If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
