so explain again why im purple
no
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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