did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
