..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
this just has baby written all over it
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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