we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So much rum. So many feels.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
