dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
