i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
