Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My sheets look like a crime scene.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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