He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
