we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
