I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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