Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
