bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
