Sry I called you an 8
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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