i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
