Its about making memories worth repressing
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize