I want to make a zoo with you.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
