I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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