What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
do herpes really smell.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
