i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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