got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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