Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize