Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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