she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize