Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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