Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
