i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize