Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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