If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
