Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
