I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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