I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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