It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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