so that wasnt chicken after all
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
