Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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