Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
