so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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