I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize