i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
