I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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