If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
