omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You are a genius and a whore.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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