You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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