if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
