My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
