She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
