This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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