I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
