his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
