i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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