I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
