This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
