God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
