Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
