very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
