see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
